I'm not an addict - K's Choice.

Breath it in and breath it out 

and pass it on it's almost out 

We're so creative and so much more 

We're high above, but on the floor 

The deeper you stick it in your vein 

The deeper the thoughts there's no more pain 

I'm in heaven, I'm a god 

I'm everywhere, I feel so hot 

It's over now, I'm cold, alone 

I'm just a person on my own 

Nothing means a thing to me 

Oh, nothing means a thing to me 

Free me, leave me 

Watch me as I'm going down 

Free me, see me 

Look at me I'm falling 

And I'm falling......... 

I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict.

Living for the only thing I know.

It helps to see things from that rose-colored glass. Even cynics do it when they need it.

They just don't like to admit it much.

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you....

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you

Playing in my head.

And then I clenched my jaw.

I want to be whole again.

Got my finger on the trigger
But I don't know who to trust
I look into your eyes
There's just devils and dust

We're a long, long way from home Bob
Home's a long, long way from us
Feel the dirty winds blowin'
Devils and dust

I got God on my side
I'm just trying to survive
But if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love

Fear is a powerful thing
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust

Well I dreamed of you last night
In a field of blood and stone
Blood began to dry
And a smell began to rise

Well I dreamed of you last night Mom
In a field of mud and bone
And your blood began to dry
The smell began to rise

Got God on our side
We're just trying to survive
But if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love

Fear is a powerful thing
It'll turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust

Now every woman and every man
They wanna take your right to stand
Find the love with God wills
The faith that He commands

I've got my finger on the trigger
Tonight faith just ain't enough
And I look inside my heart
There's just devils and dust

But I've got God on my side
And I'm just trying to survive
But if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love

Fear is a dangerous thing
It'll turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust

Maybe if I repeat it often enough, it'll happen.

Medha Ishq.

Gandhiyan, median khool na mahi....
hin te gayen aan see see gandhiyan
My love, open my knots for me
these hundereds of knot i am tied in

Atak jhatak wak ankhiyan aryan
ate pe giyan yaanm khiirriyan gandhiyan
My eyes are fixated towards atak jhtak
and here I have these knots which cant be untied

Akhii rro roo matam karan nit yaad aawan tediaan gandiyan
yar fareed oo soohgan hoowayan jera naal mahi de gandiyan
My eyes mourn whenever I remember your knots my love
Yar fareed, those who are tied in knots with there love, only those become sohagan

Karachi Valiye - Rabbi Shergill.

Je aunda maen kadey hor
Agar main kiss aur waqt aata
Ki mulaqat hundi
kia mulakat hooti
Je hunda maen changa chor
agar main acha choor hota
Ki jumme-raat hundi
kia jumme-e-rat hooti
Je aunda jhoothh maenu kehna
Agar mujhe jhoot bolna aata
Tan vi ki parda eh si rehna
kia yeh parda rehta
Hijaban vali
Hijab wali
Karachi Valie
Karachi wali
Kujh khali tere andar si
Kuch khala tumharay andar tha
'Te shayad mere vi
aur shayed meray bhi
Ik paase khahishan si kharhian
Aik taraf khawahishain ( Desires) kharri thii
'Te dujey haddan si
doosri taraf haddod
Ni haddan terian si nerhe meri door
Ni ( Oye) tumhari hadain kareeb thiin aur meri door
Ki karda maen si majboor
Kia karta main tha majboor
Mijajan valie
Mazaj wali
Karachi valie
Thhande sahan valie
thanday sansoon wali
Rukhe valan valie
Rukhay baloon wali
Thorha kasoor si mera
Thora kasoor tha mera
Thorha si tera kasoor
Thora tumhara bhi tha kasoor
Par dasso dil uthey kiven jit sakdai
Lekin bataoo wahan dil kaisey jeet saktay hain
Jithey rehndian ne mattan vadhoo
jahan aqal ziada important hoo
Tun tukdi si rakhdi si bujhdi si machdi di
tum takti thi, rakhti thi, bujhti thi, jalti thi
Jhakdi si kardi si gallan
hitchkhichati thi aur batain kati thi
Munhon dilon hor
Moonh se kuch aur, dil se kuch aur.
Maen takda si rah, kadey takda si daa
Main rasta daikhta tha, mooka dekhta tha
Kadey farhda si banh teri
kabhi bazoo pakatrta tha tumhara
Aakhar maen si chor
aakhir main choor tha

Asan lai ik sann kurhey
Main ne naqab zani kar li hai
Vehna kinna chir khaloni eyn
dekho kitni dair kari hooti hai
Vaddi kandhan valie
oonchi dewaroon wali

"Pappu Can't Dance Saala"

Hai muscular, hai popular
Spectacular, he's a bachelor.
Pappu ki gari tezz hai,
Pappu kuriyon main craze hai
Pappu ki aankhen light blue,
Pappu dikhta angrez hai!
Rado ki ghari haathon main,
Perfume Gucci walla.

Par Pappu can't dance sala!

Paida Pappu hua toh qismeten chamkeen
Aur uske moon main thi chaandi ki chamchi
Pappu ke paas hai pesa
Haathon ke mail jesa
Pappu yaaron ka yaar hai

Par Pappu can't dance saala
Pappu naach nai sakta!

Paapa kehte hai bara naam karega
Mera Pappu toh aisa kaam karega
Pappu ke paas hai MBA
Karta hai France main holiday
Pappu guitar bajata hai
Jahan jaata hai chaa jata hai!

Par Pappu can't dance saala!

This was written for you.

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight...

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't deny it
Can't sell it or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home...hard to know what it is if you never had one
Home...I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the heart is

I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme...

Gravity..

Oh
Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me...

Dream Big - David Cook.

I have been trying to remember this song since forever. Finally (thanks to some person who was more inclined on answering the question instead of telling me how lame it is to forget the whole thing instead of the 'if you don't something something' of the song) I have it. The song is "Dream Big" sung by Cook on the Finale.

Here are the lyrics and this is the video.

Gravity - John Mayer.

Gravity is working against me

And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh I'll never know what makes this man

With all the love that his heart can stand

Dream of ways to throw it all away
Oh Gravity is working against me

And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh twice as much aint twice as good

And can't sustain like a one half could

It's wanting more

That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me

And gravity has taken better men than me

(Now how can that be?)

Just keep me where the light is...

Dubai ke naam.

Too sad to apply to me wholly and completely - but still makes sense nonetheless. If Urdu poets didn't spend half the time being self-defeating, they'd apply a bit more to rational, self-respecting individuals. But there isn't any glory in that, is there :)

... Sabhi kuch hai tera diya hua sabhi rahaten sabhi kalafaten
kabhi sohbaten kabhi furqaten kabhi duriyan kabhi qurbaten

Ye sukhan jo ham ne raqam kiye ye hain sab waraq teri yad k
koi lamha subah-e-wisal ka, kai sham-e-hijr ki qurbaten

Jo tumhari man len nasiha to rahega daman-e-dil main kya
na kisi udu ki adawaten na kisi sanam ki murawwaten

Chalo ao tum ko dikhayen ham jo bacha hai maqtal -e-shahar main
ye mazar ahal-e-safa k hain ye hain ahal-e-sidq ki turbaten

Meri jan aj ka gam na kar, k na jane katib-e-waqt ne
Kisi apne kal main bhi bhul kar kahin likh rakhi ho mussaraten

Yemen ke naam.

Zindagi ke melay main
Khwahishon ke railay main
Tum se kia kahen jan'an, is qadar jhamailay main
Waqt ki rawaani hai, bakht ki giraani hai
Sakht be zameeni hai, sakht lamakaani hai
Hijr ke samandar main
Takht aur takhte ki
Aik hi kahani hai
Tum ko sunani hai
Baat go zara si hai
Baat umr bhar ki hai (umr bhar ki baaten kabb do ghari main hoti hain
Dard ke samandar main
An ginat jazeere hain, beshumaar moti hain)
Aankh ke dareeche main
Tum ne jo sajaya tha
Baat us diaay ki hai
Baat us gilay ki hai
Jo lahoo ki khilwat main choar bann ke aata hai
Lafz ke faseelon main toot toot jaata hai
Zindagi se lambi hai, baat ratt jagay ki hai
Rastay main kese ho
Baat takhliyay ki hai
Takhliyay ki baaton main guftugo izaafi hai
Pyaar karne walon ko ik nigaah kaafi hai
Ho sake toh sun jaao aik din akele main
Tum se kia kahen janan.. is qadar jhamailay main.

Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler.

Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

On my parents' 25th Nikah Anniversary.

The day that was 25 years ago joined my parents in holy matrimony. As is customary in the rich and lavish, the reception took place separately, with an almost 20-day gap (April 28th, 1983) in between for further festivities.

Anyway... they have spent 25 years married ... that's a quarter of century and half of their lifetimes. And this ... is for their silver jubilee.

A Prayer in Spring by Robert Frost

OH, give us pleasure in the flowers today;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, give us pleasure in the orcahrd white,
Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;
And make us happy in the happy bees,
The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happy in the darting bird
That suddenly above the bees is heard,
The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,
And off a blossom in mid air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,
To which it is reserved for God above
To sanctify to what far ends he will,
But which it only needs that we fulfill.

Behtar hai.

'Nasir' kyaa kahataa phirataa hai kuchh na suno to behatar hai
diivaanaa hai diivaane ke muu.Nh na lago to behatar hai

kal jo thaa vo aaj nahii.n jo aaj hai kal miT jaayegaa
ruukhii-suukhii jo mil jaaye shukr karo to behatar hai

kal ye taab-o-tavaa.N na rahegii Tha.nDaa ho jaayegaa lahuu
naam-e-Khudaa ho javaa.N abhii kuchh kar guzaro to behatar hai

kyaa jaane kyaa rut badale haalaat kaa ko_ii Thiik nahii.n
ab ke safar me.n tum bhii hamaare saath chalo to behatar hai

kapa.De badal kar baal banaa kar kahaa.N chale ho kis ke liye
raat bahut kaalii hai 'Nasir' ghar me.n raho to behatar hai

See The World - Gomez.

Day to day
Where do you want to be?
'Cos now you're trying to pick a fight
With everyone you need

You seem like a soldier
Who's lost his composure
You're wounded and playing a waiting game
In no-man's land no-one's to blame

See the world
Find an old fashioned girl
And when all's been said and done
It's the things that are given, not won
Are the things that you earned

Empty handed, surrounded by a senseless scene
With nothing of significance
Besides a shadow of a dream
You sound like an old joke
You're worn out, a bit broken
Asking me time and time again
And the answer's still the same

See the world
Find an old fashioned girl
And when all's been said and done
It's the things that are given, not won
Are the things that you earned

You've got a chance to put things right
So how's it going to be?
Lay down your arms now
And put us beyond doubt
So reach out it's not too far away
Don't mess around now, don't delay

See the world...

Selections from Faiz.

It all rings true. Somehow. All of it.

Hum ke thehrey ajnabi itni mulaqaton ke baad
Phir baney gay aashna kitni madaraton ke baad
Kab nazar mein aye gi be-dagh sabze ki bahaar
Khoon ke dhabay dhulein gay kitni bersaton ke baad
They bohat be-dard lamhay khatm e dard-e-ishq ke
Theen bohat be-mehr subhein mehrbaan raton ke baad
Dil to chaaha per shikest-e-dil ne muhlat na di
Kuch gilay shikway bhi ker latey manajaton ke baad
Un se jo kehne gaey they Faiz jaan sadqa kiey
Unkahee hi reh gai wo baat sub batoon k baad

Kab yaad mein teraa saath nahin kab haath mein teraa haath nahin
Sudd shukr ke apni raaton mein ab hijr ki koi raat nahin
Mushkil hain agar haalaat vahaan dil bech aayen jaan de aayen
Dil vaalo kochaa-e-jaanaan mein kyaa aise bhi haalaat nahin
Jis dhaj se koi maqtal mein gayaa VO shaan salaamat rahati hai
Ye jaan to aani jaani hai is jaan ki to koi baat nahin
Maidaan-e-vafaa darbaar nahi yaan naam-o-nasab ki poochh kahaan
Aashiq to Kisi kaa naam nahin kuchh ishq Kisi ki zaat nahin
Gar baazi ishq ki baazi hai Jo chaaho lagaa do dar kaisaa
Gar jeet gae to kyaa kahanaa haare bhi to baazi maat nahin

ham paravarish-e-lauh-o-qalam karate rahe.nge
jo dil pe guzaratii hai raqam karate rahe.nge
asbaab-e-Gam-e-ishq baham karate rahe.nge
viiraanii-e-dauraa.N pe karam karate rahe.nge
haa.N talKhii-e-ayyaam abhii aur barhegii
haa.N ahal-e-sitam mashq-e-sitam karate rahe.nge
ma.nzuur ye talKhii ye sitam ham ko gavaaraa
dam hai to madaavaa-e-alam karate rahe.nge
maiKhaanaa salaamat hai to ham surKhii-e-may se
tazziin-e-dar-o-baam-e-haram karate rahe.nge
baaqii hai lahuu dil me.n to har ashk se paidaa
rang-e-lab-o-ruKhsaar-e-sanam karate rahe.nge
ek tarz-e-taGaaful hai so vo un ko mubaarak
ek arz-e-tamannaa hai so ham karate rahe.nge

Comfortably Numb.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

Okay, so it's not twisted as that ... but that is close to what I want to say.

So why am I not using all my forces of articulation to express the pang that rings in my ears before I sleep - and be turned into an insomniac?

Because there is no point. You gotta do what you gotta do.

The world'd be a much better place if more people realized the meaning of that sentence.

Ahl e Khirad.

This started out as a criticism to Post Modernism. And ended up being a criticism on humanity, religion, faith and all the hoopla that is life itself.

Lo and behold. "Ahl e Khirad".

Infiraadi khayalon ki sanjeedgi.
In gehre ujaalon ki pecheedgi.
Hum zehno'n ke parcham ke ghaazi banay
Khudaa'i ki apni namazi banay
Huquq e baraadar kay aa'eena daar
Charhaata hai dunya ka gard o ghubaar
Zamanay ki laat'thi jo parr jayegee
Aql ye khuda se bhi larr jayegee
Samandar main ghoata jo marayngay hum
Jahan se siyaah ko sudhaarengay hum
Tafreeq aati hai har ik qism ki
Pat'thar ki moorat ya soorat sanam ki
Deeda dileri hai shaan e khudaa'i.
Hum par qayamat bhi hai roo'namai.
Muhabbat, yaqeen aur haqq ke fasaanay
Haqeeqat, sadaqat ke beetay zamaanay
Hum jalwaa'gar hain, sadiyon ke shaahi
Khirad ke ghulam aur gur ke sipaahi
Humain kaam hinds'on se aagay nahin
Ye pakkay gharonday hain dhaagay nahin
Hum barh rahay hain quw'wat se apni
Qudrat pe ab toh uboo'rat hai apni
Na jhut'la sakay gee aql khud ko khud se
Koi pooch le jo sawaal aa ke mujh se
Jawabon ki lambi qataar'en hain haazir
Manzar nazar main hai, hera'an hai naazir.
Ye kesi aql hai! Ye kese hain insaan!
Ke jisko bana ke Qudrat hai naal'aan!
Ye kese makaan hain, ye kesa zamaana
Sawaalon ki uljhan main har ik hai maan'aa.
Is Ahl e Khirad ne sawalon ko seencha.
Aur agay barha khud ye ban ke maseeha.
Mujhe koi aakhir ab ye bata day
Jahan kion bana tha, kis ne banaya?
Kis ne hai dalaa zameenon pe saya?
Kis ki hukumat pe chalti hain saansain?
Kis ki ijaazat main pal'ti hain saansain?
Main kis ki ibaadat karoon, kis ko maanoon?
Hayat e rawan ko kis simt jaanoon?
Kaha ko main jaaon, ye hindsay kidher hain?
Laashon ke manzar, khirad kioon sifar hai?
Insaani rishta aql se bari kioon?
Muhabbat main jazbaat hi afreen kioon?
Akeli aql kia humari hai kaamil?
Nahee kia sitaaron main koi aur aaqil?
Karo'ron, meel'on jahanon se oopar?
Talay paray hain khirad ke kioon munh par?
Mujhe in sawaalon ki kari'yaan mila do.
Adl ka koi bhi qanoon laa do.
...

Taa'ruf ho mera, main ahle khirad hoon, jahan deeda'var hoon
Khud se pereshan main rooh ka sharrar hoon
Main khud main khudaa'i main hi jalwa'gar hoon
Main pehchaan hoon sab ki, main woh baakhabar hoon
Sawaalon jawabon ki ik ik lar'i hoon
Main dunya main ab bhi pereshaan khari hoon

Lahu se bhari bastiyaan dekhti hoon
Lutay huay aanchal main jaan dekhti hoon
Main vaa'iz ka ghafil bayaan sunn rahi hoon
Firqon main bat'ti azaan sunn rahi hoon
Shahadat ke jhootay kafan maine dekhe
Nihatt'ay lahu pe jashan maine dekhe
Main kis ko sunaaoon, main kis ko bataaoon.
Main heraan khari hoon, main kis simt jaaon.

Ahle khirad ne ye ik baat maani
Insaaniyat ki ye lambi kahaani
Aadam (AS) se le ke humaray asr takk
Pur ho chuki hai bud'i ab kasar takk
Khatm ho chala hai ab ye drama
Khirad ne ab ye hi imaan jaana
Bun'ta hai apney liye hi toh jaala
Ubhray ga insaan kia is se aala.

Majaz. January 7, 2008.