Will Ferrell and Tina Fey as George Bush and Sarah Palin.

Ferrell: Hello my fellow Americans. I've chosen to schedule this impromptu address at night. Because quite frankly every time I address in the afternoon the stock market goes to the crapper. I've come to you tonight amidst a very important election between two very qualified candidates. The Hot Lady and the Tiger Woods guy. And yes I did have three Xanaxes and a silver bullet about half an hour ago. I'm outta here in a few months so screw it! *creepy giggle* Now let's bring out here Governor Sarah Palin and Sentaor McCain.

Fey: It's so nice to meet you, President Bush. I've seen you on TV. But unfortunately Senator McCain upon hearing that you want to make him a super-public endorsement - cannot be found.

Ferrell: George Bush always finds his man save for one huge exception.

Fey: Yep, we're going to get 'er done!

Team Arctic guy brings in McCain (played by Darrell Hammond).

Ferrell: (shakes hands as McCain tries to tug his hand away) Hey let's get a photo of this. Lemme do this. I, George W. Bush, endorse John McCain and Sarah Palin. (McCain tugs to leave, GW doesn't let go.) John was there for me 90% of the time for past ten years. When you think john mccain think of me. Think of this face when you're in the voting, before you vote, picture this face.

"How to Steal a Million (1966)"

I return with an ode to Audrey Hepburn, who, in this flick, plays the granddaughter of art-forgerer Bonnet. Her grandfather, out of obsession, out of a sense of adventure, likes fooling art-lovers and museum curators that he is in possession of pieces by none other than Monet and Van Gogh and since,

Bonnet: American millionaires must be all quite mad. Perhaps it's something they put in the ink when they print the money.

The film is considerably glib with characters that are justifiably witty (one's an art-lover, one's an art thief, and one's an heiress). Consider this:

Nicole Bonnet: I didn't want to keep you waiting, so I got engaged to him. Is it alright? Am I on time?
Simon Dermott: Perfectly. In fact, we have ten more minutes, so if you want to go back and marry him?

The film is 2 hours long and passes with enough enjoyment if you're an art-lover or an Audrey Hepburn fan.

Frantic update I.

• Work is killing me.
• Sarah Palin is stupid.
• Humanistic Counseling rocks. My future career is suddenly all-the-more clearer.
• Writing plays is not easy. I have newfound respect for Oscar Wilde, Tennessee Williams and Anwar Maqsood.
• I'm reading "Half Blood Prince" for the umpteenth time.
• I had a 'near-death' experience. Our car almost collided into a bridge on a very busy, a very fast lane last night. I have newfound respect for life. Which didn't last very long - but anyway.
  
• Facebooking through Iphone is boring.
• You can't blog through your Iphone or your N95 either. Unless you want to go mad with frustration or blind after straining your eyes to read one word.
• My wedding gharara is going to be blood red. *dreamy grin*
• Madrassah started again. This time new teachers. I keep telling them I'm going to question everything about Islam and faith, so they should be prepared. Fariya Baji says she has also told them about M and I. So yay.
• Our UPS has gone to hell so we're literally living in the "Dark Ages" now that KESC has decided to push tolerance levels even further.
• I'm talking about electricity ... so that means I'm outta stuff right now. Or that I just want to begin venting (and who the hell wants to hear that, right?) ... so.

Until then, folks. Until I get a new video graphics card. See you on Facebook or email.

Huh?

Can you believe it?

I just called Ather-Shehzad Studio.

Shahzad Raza charges THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND RUPEES for bridal makeup.

And if youwant him to come to Karachi, he will charge you extra ...

PLUS ...

YOU have to give him a Business Class ticket and five star stay.

Shahzad's assistant charges one hundred thousand. You can give him an economy class ticket and stay.

Benevolent.

Mom still thinks I'm joking. Even though I made the call in front of her.

Does this mean we no longer live in the good ol' days where looking beautiful came naturally?

But now it has to come with a private jet and a bank balance?

"Wait Until Dark (1967)"

What starts as simply a creepy thriller ends up being an intelligent, well-crafted film with Audrey Hepburn outclassing everything else onscreen with her portrayal of the "world's champion blind woman" being tricked by a set of crooks. Wait Until Dark promises more to the audiences in its one sequence than at least 20 of those Final Destination-type blood-and-gore-filled flicks.

I absolutely and wholeheartedly fell in love with the talent Hepburn has. She has been irreplaceable. Alan Arkin has played the psychopathic villain brilliantly, his performance pairing up well with Hepburn's. Great watch, splendid cast and a plot that will keep you on the edge of your seat for sure. Stop wasting time. Go watch.

Frankly, m'dear ...

I'm tired.

I'm tired of the same old swagger of the whiz kids and the biz kids at the university. Tired of the petty shameful politics, the insecure staff and the immensely self-conscious brats that walk through the halls decking it with their shallow intentions (I showed them August Rush and one kid said he liked 'the larki/girl' the best). I am tired of trying to write a script that can change the trend of the university to do shitty plays and begin it on a more classical, less third-grade path by trying to write a play with enough oomph to hook in the hoi polloi and enough jazz to let me look at myself in the mirror with a clear conscience.

I am tired of this. This is not what I wanted from teaching.

Having said that, I refuse to quit or give up (wish I'd learnt to though, it's such a blessing sometimes) on something I've promised myself I will end properly. So ploughing through is a teacher who is quite OUT of ideas right now. So any helpful hints on how to tolerate 160 18-year-olds will be appreciated.

And by tolerate I mean to hold out for the next 9 weeks without bombing their brains (or mine) out, managing a million (or plus) rupee function, checking mid and final term papers and saying good bye to university once and for all.

Oh and by the way. Readers of this blog, join The Black Mirror Network on Facebook. Confirmations on the author will be appreciated. And if you're too stingy to take time out to help a pathetic, miserable old teacher feel better, then fie on you.

Hmpf.

Living for the only thing I know.

It helps to see things from that rose-colored glass. Even cynics do it when they need it.

They just don't like to admit it much.

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you....

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you

"Islam and Post Modernism."

By Dr Asghar Ali Engineer

What is the relation between Islam and post-modernism? Earlier, we used to talk of Islam and modernism and now we talk of Islam and post-modernism.

First let us understand the difference between modernism and post-modernism. Modernism which ruled the roost until the early 1950s was characterised by a hegemony of reason. Modernism rejected anything which was not in conformity with reason.

Modernism was, in a way, quite intolerant of forces of tradition or even anything supra-rational, let alone irrational. It was for this reason that Freud’s theory of the subconscious or unconscious was also ridiculed by modernists. It was not deemed to be in conformity with reason. Even Marxists also rejected Freud and his explanation of deeper sources of human behaviour. Naturally they also rejected religion as something irrational. Thus, modernism was as intolerant of anything non-modern as one religion is said to be of another.

Europe throughout the 19th century was characterised by modernism and Asia and Africa were looked down upon by the Europeans as anti-modern and irrational. Thus, the 19th century was the century of modernism and of European hegemony. It was in the early 1950s and ’60s that new trends began to emerge and post-modernism began to be theorised by academics and social scientists.

In post-modernism, reason lost its hegemony and supra-rational forces came to be accepted. Post-modernism is mainly characterised by pluralism, be it cultural, religious or literary sphere. Europe and North America became multi-cultural and multi-religious societies due to the migration of people from the western powers’ former African and Asian colonies.

Also, it was during this phase that religion also found a respectable place again in western society. In other words, religion came to be re-appropriated. Thus, post-modernism, unlike modernism, is not hegemonic and is tolerant of other cultures; its main characteristic is pluralism. Now let us explore the relation between Islam and post-modernism.

Islam believes in religious and cultural pluralism, and while accepting importance of reason it also accepts supra-rational forces. According to the Quran, Allah has created several religions and cultures though he could have created only one, if He so desired. (5:48). Thus, pluralism is the very basic to the Quran.

According to the Quran the world has been created in its plurality, not only in matters of religion but also by way of ethnicity, nations and tribes. These have been described as signs of Allah (30:22). About national and tribal plurality, one only need see Surah 49, verse 13.

The Quran stresses pluralism to such an extent that even when one is convinced that others’ gods are false, it stops believers from abusing them. The Quran says, “And abuse not those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest, exceeding the limits they abuse Allah through ignorance.” Further, it says: “Thus to every people have. We made their deeds fair-seeming…” (6:109)

Here, it is a Quranic injunction not to say bad words about others’ religion(s) because to every people their religion looks true and valid. The Quran even says that in every place of worship Allah is remembered and hence it should be respected. Thus, the Quran says, “And if Allah did not repel some people by others, cloisters and churches and synagogues and mosques in which Allah’s name is much remembered, would have been pulled down.” (22:40).

Thus, there is no place for inter-religious conflict in Islam. The Quran also subscribes to the doctrine of what Shah Waliullah and Maulana Azad called the wahdat-i-Deen i.e., unity of religion, which means all religions are same in essence and in their core teachings. Both the eminent theologians have thrown detailed light on this question in their respective writings.

As far as multi-culturalism is concerned, the West accepted it only in the latter part of the 20th century. The West had otherwise long been a mono-religious and mono-cultural society, because the Christian church had rejected validity of all other religions except Christianity. The church now of course believes in inter-religious dialogue and has issued instructions to Christian organisations to that effect. The Quran had accepted all Biblical prophets during the revelation itself.

Islam accepted multi-culturalism too by saying that all believers are one Ummah regardless of their ethnicity, language, tribe or nationality. It also admonished believers not to discriminate between Arabs and non-Arabs, as Arabs were very proud of their ethnic origin. Islam spread far and wide among peoples of different cultures and even the Shariah respected the ‘adat (customs) of different people. Local customs and traditions were integrated with Shariah formulations from the earliest time.

Thus, it will be seen that Islamic teachings anticipated what came to be called post-modernism today. The most essential thing is tolerance for diversity and for those who are different from us. Being different should not mean being inferior, superior or hostile to the other. We must project Islam in the right spirit, emphasising the practice of tolerance it so ardently advocates to the faithful.

The writer is an Islamic scholar and heads the Centre for Study of Society and Secularism, Mumbai.

Taken from: Dawn.com.

Watan ka Sajeela Jawan.

My brother Ali and his friend Saad reenacting Zardari-Palin encounter.

You can note the thurkeeness in Saad's eyes (on the left) and the slightly terrorized look on Ali's (on the right).

"The Color of Money"

And then there is that one actor no one can take their eyes off of.

Shocking as it may sound, I am not and sincerely not referring to Tom Cruise. If you ask me, he's one of Hollywood's overrated stars and if he jumps on a couch, it just doesn't make him any more interesting.

I am actually referring to the legend, Paul Newman. If there's anyone who can parallel Brando and Peck in grace or DeNiro and Redford in artistic achievement, it's this guy right here. In this 1986 flick, he's got more poise and gallantry at 61 than most men do at 30. Tom Cruise was aptly chosen by Scorsese to play the slightly goofy-but-talented pool savant in front of a seasoned liquor-seller (Newman). There is no way anyone could have managed looking better than Newman.

The plot of the movie is a treat for pool-lovers but for those of us who haven't been around a pool table apart from our Iphones or desktop games, this film is more than just 9 balls rolling around on the table. It explores characters deeper than pool-playing money-winners. Scorsese has this knack of humanising elements which are untouchable, elements that can only be viewed from afar. Although this humanising is done brutishly, not as elegantly as Coppola, it nevertheless breaches the divide between a luxury sedan driver and an average Joe or any of the streetside hoodlums you avoid gazes of.

A must-watch. A must-must-must watch. Newman is truly one of the finest actors Hollywood has ever had - and they are absolutely right to mourn his death.