Peace for Palestine?

Robert Fisk's article in the Dawn.

Read it and weep. Literally. All of the Muslim fundamentalists and Western democrats. Shame on you all.

We’ve got so used to the carnage of the Middle East that we don’t care any more – providing we don’t offend the Israelis. It’s not clear how many of the Gaza dead are civilians, but the response of the Bush administration, not to mention the pusillanimous reaction of Gordon Brown, reaffirm for Arabs what they have known for decades: however they struggle against their antagonists, the West will take Israel’s side. As usual, the bloodbath was the fault of the Arabs – who, as we all know, only understand force.

Ever since 1948, we’ve been hearing this balderdash from the Israelis – just as Arab nationalists and then Arab Islamists have been peddling their own lies: that the Zionist “death wagon” will be overthrown, that all Jerusalem will be “liberated”. And always Mr Bush Snr or Mr Clinton or Mr Bush Jnr or Mr Blair or Mr Brown have called upon both sides to exercise “restraint” – as if the Palestinians and the Israelis both have F-18s and Merkava tanks and field artillery. Hamas’s home-made rockets have killed just 20 Israelis in eight years, but a day-long blitz by Israeli aircraft that kills almost 300 Palestinians is just par for the course.

The blood-splattering has its own routine. Yes, Hamas provoked Israel’s anger, just as Israel provoked Hamas’s anger, which was provoked by Israel, which was provoked by Hamas, which ... See what I mean? Hamas fires rockets at Israel, Israel bombs Hamas, Hamas fires more rockets and Israel bombs again and ... Got it? And we demand security for Israel – rightly – but overlook this massive and utterly disproportionate slaughter by Israel. It was Madeleine Albright who once said that Israel was “under siege” – as if Palestinian tanks were in the streets of Tel Aviv.

By last night, the exchange rate stood at 296 Palestinians dead for one dead Israeli. Back in 2006, it was 10 Lebanese dead for one Israeli dead. This weekend was the most inflationary exchange rate in a single day since – the 1973 Middle East War? The 1967 Six Day War? The 1956 Suez War? The 1948 Independence/Nakba War? It’s obscene, a gruesome game – which Ehud Barak, the Israeli Defence Minister, unconsciously admitted when he spoke this weekend to Fox TV. “Our intention is to totally change the rules of the game,” Barak said.

Exactly. Only the “rules” of the game don’t change. This is a further slippage on the Arab-Israeli exchanges, a percentage slide more awesome than Wall Street’s crashing shares, though of not much interest in the US which – let us remember – made the F-18s and the Hellfire missiles which the Bush administration pleads with Israel to use sparingly.

Quite a lot of the dead this weekend appear to have been Hamas members, but what is it supposed to solve? Is Hamas going to say: “Wow, this blitz is awesome – we’d better recognise the state of Israel, fall in line with the Palestinian Authority, lay down our weapons and pray we are taken prisoner and locked up indefinitely and support a new American ‘peace process’ in the Middle East!” Is that what the Israelis and the Americans and Gordon Brown think Hamas is going to do?

Yes, let’s remember Hamas’s cynicism, the cynicism of all armed Islamist groups. Their need for Muslim martyrs is as crucial to them as Israel’s need to create them. The lesson Israel thinks it is teaching – come to heel or we will crush you – is not the lesson Hamas is learning. Hamas needs violence to emphasise the oppression of the Palestinians – and relies on Israel to provide it. A few rockets into Israel and Israel obliges.

Not a whimper from Tony Blair, the peace envoy to the Middle East who’s never been to Gaza in his current incarnation. Not a bloody word.

We hear the usual Israeli line. General Yaakov Amidror, the former head of the Israeli army’s “research and assessment division” announced that “no country in the world would allow its citizens to be made the target of rocket attacks without taking vigorous steps to defend them”. Quite so. But when the IRA were firing mortars over the border into Northern Ireland, when their guerrillas were crossing from the Republic to attack police stations and Protestants, did Britain unleash the RAF on the Irish Republic? Did the RAF bomb churches and tankers and police stations and zap 300 civilians to teach the Irish a lesson? No, it did not. Because the world would have seen it as criminal behaviour. We didn’t want to lower ourselves to the IRA’s level.

Yes, Israel deserves security. But these bloodbaths will not bring it. Not since 1948 have air raids protected Israel. Israel has bombed Lebanon thousands of times since 1975 and not one has eliminated “terrorism”. So what was the reaction last night? The Israelis threaten ground attacks. Hamas waits for another battle. Our Western politicians crouch in their funk holes. And somewhere to the east – in a cave? a basement? on a mountainside? – a well-known man in a turban smiles.

Robert Fisk

—Dawn/The Independent News Service

What the ...

Picture this. 

Picture it all. Good and proper, okay?

Sometimes I think we're born on the wrong side of this century. Or maybe I'm losing my mind.

No. Not the century. I'm definitely losing my mind.

This instance was not only the first but one of the most flabbergasting passer-by moments of my life. 

Shadi shopping is tough, it can take a lotta zing outta you. After struggling for the thousandth time to tell your darzi that a kurta is a kurta is a kurta, you pretty much begin to lose it tenth time around. 

My mom is a slick driver. She thinks she's on a race track when she's on Shahrah e Faisal and when the car hits a speed breaker, it's just something to fidget about. I had always been used to Dad's not-more-than-20-km/h driving, so for the initial couple of shopping trips I don't know how many times I recited the final kalima. Especially when Mom's bp was already high enough for her to hit and run. Really.

So Mom's hungry and irritated because we've already spent two useless hours at Jabeen's, not finding a single worth-it dress, and because I'd made her hurry out of house for the trip, she didn't take lunch either. We stop at Khadda Market's One Potato Two Potato and Mom yelps at the sight of "Fish and Chips - Limited Winter Edition". 

I walk out of the car, as Mom parks in front of Ami's. The road is narrow, there's plenty of rush and I decide to bring the fish to Mom and take a can of Sprite Zero for her from Ami's. Comfortable little dinner eh? 

Life was good until ...

I was standing placing my order at OPTP when a Vitz parks behind me. The driver is a older gentleman and the passenger seat is occupied by a young boy wearing a painter's cap. He's not more than twenty I suppose. He looks slightly familiar. I squint. Then I turn back round. The OPTP window guy has told me to wait for a moment.

Standing around waiting for the fish and chips to arrive, I turn around on my right this time and there's the young boy again talking to the OPTP waiter. Where have I seen this guy, I wonder, and am almost about to turn. Maybe he's a student, I think.

He smiles. Oh. So he's definitely a student. Before I even think of asking him if he'd gone to Iqra or Bahria or if I knew him from somewhere else, Little Gul Jee grins.

"Assalam o Alaikum." He shows slightly big pan-chewn teeth. He's thin and lanky and kinda makes me want to tell him to order a bigger dose of fries.

"Walaikum assalam. Do I- "

"Can I have your number?"

Same grin. I am shocked. No. Too precise an emotion. I wasn't even articulate let alone. Otherwise I would have given him a nice dose of masala to go with those fries. Shell-shocked? No. I didn't register shock of any kind. Flabbergasted? No. I didn't feel anything. Windfallen? No. I knew exactly what I'd run into. A stupid moron who thinks confused signals are a battle cry. Outraged? No. I was too miffed at my own loss of composure.

I turn around, my face burning, I sputter an indignant, "NO!" and feel like banging my head against the glass OPTP window. If the guy was an idiot, or a schizophrenic or a moron, or simply blind to see the dopatta on the head and the back-the-hell-up look frozen on my face, something like this had NEVER ever happened in my entire life. I have never been approached by random strangers like this and asked the number for. And believe me, I was completely haggard, looking like, yes, the hag after shopping for six hours straight. So the guy either had to be on a dare, a patient of hysterical blindness, temporary dementia or some sort of other psychological illness which my limited knowledge has not been privy to so far. Because I see no reason why a young, Himesh-listening guy would approach a random 25 year old woman with a dopatta on her head to ask for her freaking number.

I've stepped into a new world, I have.

And thus I need to ask you all. Have you men grown extra pair of ... pituitary glands to secrete excess testosterone? Or are you people completely devoid of keeping it in ... Okay. I'm displacing my anger, but honestly. Seriously. Give me something here, I cannot understand the weirder sex anymore, I am out.

What does a girl have to do to tell you that I am the FUCK NOT INTERESTED?

Differential.

Okay, so this is good business. You take a movie that's already done well, hire a popular actor, someone with halfway decent principles (which in this world means an actor who refuses to dance on Dard e Disco or Ishq Kameena type item numbers), for a halfway decent script (which in this world means sweeping away a script of a critically acclaimed movie and giving it the desi touch) and lo and behold. You've got a brand new standard of what people like. Movie based on another movie that wasn't popular enough to the general masses.

Ghajini, ladies and gentlemen, and Memento. May God give peace to the soul of Christopher Nolan and more sense to Aamir Khan. Not surprised at the swipe, though would've expected something better from the Khan.

The Teacher Known as Lady Snape.

The following is the text of the memento I received from one of the students today.

'This is an appreciative souvenir that I would ilke to give you which I believe would be on behalf of the batch of oral communication students that you so merely taught in an exemplified manner.

Your teaching methodology this fall has left a deepening impression on all of which has enabled most of us to grow in personality and stature. This fall of oral communication has been all about change and you certainly have embedded that in most of us.

Its been one 'fun roller coaster ride' and it amazes me to say that how much I would miss your vibrant presence at our campus.

As you set forth into the future and Ying away with your Yang to Yemen, I would ike to thank you with utmost honesty and sincerity for providing us the opportunities to explore our strengths and let us have teh time of our lives.

This is become far more of a cliche but, "Lady Snape", you are one hell of a person... You Rock!!!

Thank you.'

Must-read.

The world is alive with the sound of war. Do we see another 65 or 71? Or another cold war with both countries gearing up their nuclear weapons on the opposite sides of the border?

Geez. Just when Indian movies had begun to come to Pakistani cinemas.

Even though a majority of us think in that aforesaid shallow manner, I was very happy to read the following article by Karamatullah K. Ghori who has struck gold yet again. This time he seems angrier than you would want to see a veteran diplomat which is pretty cool actually. Sometimes life's better when it's out of the natural order of things.

You can read the entire article here. The following are my favorite points of the article.

• ... what was so sacrilegious to suggest that Manmohan Singh saw in the Mumbai drama the chance of a life-time to shore up his electoral fortunes? Did he have a divine revelation that told him the terrorists had come from Pakistan? But a section of the Indian intelligentsia isn’t prepared to countenance the possibility that their PM took them on a flight of fantasy and was guilty of triggering a schizophrenic hate campaign against Pakistan.

• Take, for instance, the mystery surrounding the actual count of the alleged terrorists involved in the episode. The official brief says there were only ten, out of which one — still alive and in captivity — was overpowered at the railway station. That leaves nine of them. Two are said to have held the inmates of Nariman House, the Israeli enclave. That leaves just seven. These seven must have divided themselves into two groups. Let’s assume they split 4:3. It couldn’t be 3 ½ for each of the two giant hotels invaded and occupied by them.

• Can anyone in their right mind perceive, for a moment, that three or four people could hold up a huge 600-plus room hotel like Taj, and an equally cavernous hotel like Oberoi, for more than 60 hours, fight off hundreds of counter-insurgency commandoes, terrorise and kill scores of their hostages, trash the hotels from inside (as subsequent television footage so graphically displayed for the world)? They had to be supermen to accomplish all that.
  

• Independent analysts and terrorism experts are at one in their prognosis that to carry out so many tasks simultaneously, over such a long period of time, there had to be at least 50 to 60 terrorists actively engaged in this episode. The question that India’s self-righteous intelligentsia refuses to answer is, who were the people assisting the impugned terrorists? They had to be local facilitators and accomplices, if they had not descended from the ethereal world that vanished in a UFO as soon as the job was done.
  

• But they close their eyes to the stark reality that for well over the past two decades the Indian polity has been sliding, at an alarming pace, into the abyss of Hindutva, which not only pursues a philosophy of unremitting hate toward all minorities — exceptionally the 180 million Muslims of India — but also subscribes to the use of force as part of their dharma or belief to achieve its goals. It should be a matter of shame to most Indians, intellectuals or not, that their commitment to the ideals of a saint like Mahatma Gandhi is now only skin-deep. In actual fact, the heroes of many Indians, Hindus in particular, today are persons like LK Advani and Narendar Modi — with the latter’s hands soiled with the blood of thousands of innocent Muslims of Gujrat. What else could explain the rise of BJP, VHP, Bajrang Dal and such others of their ilk in a supposedly secular India?

• In the latest bout of chauvinism and skewed nationalism, these NRIs in the US have embarked on a campaign to enlist official American support to sponsor a resolution in the UN Security Council to grant India a carte blanche to strike Pakistan’s alleged ‘terrorist sites’ if Pakistan fails to act on the Indian diktat.

• As per India’s own statistics, eight Kashmiris have been killed every day over the past 18 years since they rose in revolt against Indian hegemony of their land. This makes it a cool 55,000 Kashmiris — at the very least — killed at the hands of 600,000 trigger-happy Indian soldiers encamped in the valley. The mahan Indians are wailing to the world for the loss of 170 lives in Mumbai. But why haven’t these mahan people ever shed a tear for the Kashmiris murdered in a blind frenzy of arrogance of power by India’s ‘brave soldiers’?

• The Pakistanis are not a mahan people and don’t claim to be one. They have umpteen weaknesses but have at least one great quality: they never hide or cover up their appalling weaknesses. It’s hard to come by a Pakistani intellectual that would be condescending to the rise of militancy and fundamentalism in their polity. There is zero tolerance among the Pakistani intelligentsia for a militant Islam or its purblind practitioners.
  

• The Pakistanis may be nationalistic but they aren’t chauvinists and don’t take the words of their leaders for gospel truth. In fact, Pakistan’s ruling elite have an abiding grouse against their intelligentsia for being their harshest critics and detractors. Just take the recent example of a dictator like Pervez Musharraf who was chased out of his powerful niche by the combined strength of the people and what he and his cronies disdained as the ‘chattering class’ of Pakistani intellectuals.
  

• Thank God the Pakistanis, in general, aren’t self-righteous like their eastern neighbours. A self-righteous people are niggardly and self-centred. Pakistanis give credit, generously, where it’s due and admire India’s great achievement in consolidating democracy and democratic institutions, something they haven’t been so successful at themselves. But that doesn’t mean they will take Indian dictation or accept Indian hegemony, physical or intellectual.

What do we do now?

This goes out to every Pakistani, every American and every possible human being who understands the crises the world is facing now.

Back in our debating days, we'd scoff at the speaker who'd paint the bleakest picture of the world with phrases such as 'bodies strewn everywhere' and Marxist rhetoric of 'poor getting poorer'. We knew these speakers were out to get brownie points with the help of goosebumps. It surprised us but little that these speakers often got the highest applause from the audiences and got away with most of the prizes in the competition. Speakers such as ourselves who usually tried sounding balanced and if at all biased, then positive, would scoff and ridicule them, thinking that they've encashed the world's misery in the form of their prizes.

Now I do wonder if they were all that wrong. Maybe it was us, the balanced, so-called sane individuals, who were sitting on the wrong side of the stadium.

The current day's business reports headlines are such:

14 units stop working; Large scale layoffs in car, bike industry.
India's rich lose 60 pc of their fortune.
S&P cuts Pakistan's ratings amid debt crisis (though the rupee remained steady despite it)
Stocks turn dull amid fading optimism
US retail sales plunge.
Europe officially in recession.

The economic crisis that has prevailed in the news since the Lehman bankruptcy certainly does not seem to decelerate despite hopes of many. Khanani and Kalia are busted, Abdullah Haroon is dead (though no one can blame the economy for that, I'm just going with the flow here) and the real cherry on top is that General Hayden, director CIA, thinks "every major terror threat involves Pakistan".

Isn't that exactly what every Pakistani would love to hear at the breakfast table? We're not only spending 678bn rupees on the 'war against terror' we're also inevitably the terrorists who are now invariably linked to anything remotely terrifying, whether it's a bomb hit in the US or a mouse squeaking underneath the Queen's chair.

Obama, the new face of the US, has regrouped and refocused the foreign policy matters in South Asia. He has now taken up the advices of Mr. Bruce Riedel who will now be reassessing Pakistan and Afghanistan (never thought I'd hear them both in the same terrorist agenda sentence - who knew?). Mr. Riedel plans to prioritize the "Kashmir issue" between India and Pakistan.


The efforts will not be based on the freedom of the Kashmiris; it will be a pressure on Pakistan to let go.

I had always agreed on that golden rule of International Relations that proclaimed a small country stupid if it decided to war against a country twice its size and thrice its population. Pakistan had been and will continue to be stupid if it deludes itself into thinking it can win over Kashmir. Muslim Ummah or not, strategically Kashmir is a bone of contention that has caused Pakistan nothing but decades of terrorist insurgencies in its tribal areas, big-and-small wars, and of course a constant flinch with its biggest, burliest neighbor. Bad idea.

Oddly enough, I quote Parveen Shakir,

Baat toh sach hai magar baat hai rusvaayee ki.

(It is humiliating, but it is true.)

Benazir Bhutto, in her first reign, opted for the same gradual release of Kashmir. Maybe she planned it a bit more stylishly than the begrudged let-go I'm expecting to come in the future by the Pakistani government, but she foresaw something the ISI did not. She understood that this was not only weakening Pakistan's economy but its international standing in the world. Unless it stopped sending its tribal militants, its feeble armies to fight for the 'atoot ang', it would not learn to stand on its feet, it would not be able to feed its poor.


But no. We're too happy fighting in the name of "Islam" or whatever we want to call it. What do you call an ideology when you use it at the time of foreign policy formation and discard it at the time of instructing PEMRA? Use it again when you want to establish a coalition with the mullahs, want a referendum, arm your troops for Afghanistan and discard it again when you make the President house a palace, give at least 20-30 guards per minister, let them go on luxury trips to Saudia Arabia and America and godknows where-else-off-the-record?

Obama's new regime will probably not be as great for Pakistanis are people may think but if it manages to force Pakistan to let go of Kashmir (with as little humiliation and pain as possible) it'll not only save us money and further shame in the long run, it might even help us regain a bit of that international stability.

Now if only we can convince them to let go of Bajaur too.

Tagged II.

I have been tagged by Saadat. Although this comes at a very harassed time in my life, I'm way too polite to say no.

The McCains own 13 cars, eight homes and have access to a corporate jet. If you were as insanely rich as them, where would your eight homes be and why? The only rule is: The homes must be within the borders of the country you live in, so as to utterly emulate the McCains.When you’re done, tag 8 people, so that they may join in the self-indulgence, forgetting about the crappy property market and the equivalent of The End of Pompeii on Wall-Street. You could spend your time hammering your doors and windows shut in preparation for the Apocalypse, but this meme is so much more fun!

Karachi. Born and bred here. It's foul and spreads like Hades. Sometimes you'll find yourself driving for hours on end without Karachi ever ending. Sometimes green, peaceful, cool, livable streets will sprout out of nowhere, embellishing the hope of having a better future for the country, but soon, very soon, as is the rule with every residential area in Karachi, you'll run into a slum where you'll find butt-naked kids running and wailing across the roads, oddly sinister men peering at you from dirty-draped snooker rooms, boiling gutters and merry fruit and chat vendors telling you that you're still thirty years behind (at least) the rest of the world. Govinda and Mithun movies still run like wildfire here and Cyber Cafes are rife with titles such as "Bismillah Internet Cafe" and "Al-Raheem Cyber Services". What the hell is that supposed to imply anyway? God is watching over all the porn they're downloading?

But anyway. Karachi is home and Karachi, with all its bhaiiyaas and treeless roads and traffic jams is Karachi. Its life pulsates like no other. Not because it's got a population of over 1.5 crore people. Not because it's the biggest port in Pakistan. Not because it's one of the top ten metropolitan centres in the world. But because it has never stopped growing. If you ever see those Karachi-oriented exhibits (yes, I know I'm boring, but humor me, go to Mohatta Palace's photography exhibits one of these days), you'll see what I mean. This city doesn't know how to end. Be it life or people. It keeps living even in days of severe economic crises and suicide bomb attacks and stinking oil landing on the shore for weeks. Karachiites will never stop loving the sea.

Lahore. It sounds obscene but it really isn't. Unless you're french. Then everything sounds kinda crooked. Though its name needs more revision than a Frenchman's vocabulary, this city never meant much to me save the past four years. I hated going to visit it when I was a kid. My parents used to drag Ali and me to Islamabad and Lahore every year, without fail, to visit Minaar e Pakistan and Shahi Qila and Shalimar Bagh (that's one way to keep your kids extremely rooted to their cultures, make them stick their noses in historical sites and narrate stories of dead old kings) and apart from the slightly creepy surroundings Data Ganj Bakhsh's Mazaar and the eerie Changa Manga jungles, we didn't mind. What we did feel incredibly grumpy about was the stay we had to tolerate. We hated staying with friends and family in the city because we had to sleep in the drawing rooms and do nothing but watch TV all day. And no cable when I was a kid, so there you go. You couldn't even look comatose when your mom wanted you to get up and take a bath.

I'm guessing my perception visibly shifted when I visited there 2 years ago at a friend's wedding.

Swat. If they ever stop fighting there yeah, I would. Somewhere near the Lake Saif ul Mulook. A wooden hut with a cosy fireplace (you can tell I'm getting married).

Islamabad. The President House is good. But I'd have to be a spouse-killer for that. And I can't give up Barooq for the presidency of this country. He looks too damn good. So any place in the Blue Area would be okay too, I guess.

Peshawar. For times I'll desperately want a change of scenery and an appreciation of places where women can roam free.

Quetta. To gain easy access to buy smuggled video cameras?

Kashmir. It's ours man. Part of it anyway. If India and Pakistan ever stop bickering about it, I'd love a home in that valley.

Gwadar. But it's the port of the millenium!

Okay, I'm sorry I've begun to sound lame, but I'm outta places. Unless you count "Prem Nagar" which comes from the way to Lahore from Karachi through Allama Iqbal Express and had THE most romantic name in the world (maybe they should rename Lahore that!) and wouldn't it be so so cool if someone asked me my address and I said,

" ... House Number 1, Mohabbat Gali, Prem Nagar."

........


I tag: Mampi, Khizzy, Hufsa, Karachiwali and Hira.

The Grim and the Gore.

You know what?

I'm just going to stop reading newspapers.

Yes. I'm going to just stop reading them.

Especially Pakistani news. And even more especially the Metropolitan section of the paper. It's just too depressing for anyone's good. I wonder how the editors sleep at night after they've set the paper off to print. And I don't wonder anymore why my own father, a journalist for 27 years, has paranoid attachment issues with letting his family go anywhere without him being the chaperone.

I have a weird habit of reading things while I am eating. Mom says it is disrespect to food and I can't help it anymore. It's been more than 22 years of doing it and unless it's Electric Shock Therapy that I'm in for, I'm going to continue reading anything I can get my hands on while I'm eating.

For the past couple of weeks, I'd been missing out on the deep perusal of the morning paper (breakfast without it is incomplete like a square without its lines - excuse the pathetic similie) and this Sunday as I settled down to eat the Chicken Jalferezi I made, the horrors began.

PIA's suffered a loss 38.4bn rupees. Interestingly having 16 pc growth and 17 pc hike in passenger revenue and 10 pc increase in cargo revenue - all at the same time as its losses. Pakistan, the nation, is quite ruffled by the US attacks - which recur remorselessly, just like aftershocks in Quetta and its whereabouts. And although we can seriously admire Mr. President to talk about raising money for ginners and growers, we mustn't try wondering why he won't just stop booking quotas in everything from Hajj flights to Saudia Arabia's Pakistan House.

The news is bad everywhere. TV channels milk it, people lap it up and politicians will continue to harvest the ground which breeds it all.

I am quite deliberate about this.

I don't think I can take it anymore. Newspapers sure put your life into perspective when you're down making you understand that the universe does not revolve around YOU - but they also do something really really disturbing. It makes us understand that this revolving universe which we struggle to survive in everyday - is full of crap and it's never going to change.

If I wasn't a journalist's daughter, I'd have stopped my subscription to Dawn today.But I know I won't. Mom loves the word jumble too much and I'm a crossword fan.

Not to mention The Wizard of Id.

That comic strip is funnier than George Bush on crystal meth.

Will Ferrell and Tina Fey as George Bush and Sarah Palin.

Ferrell: Hello my fellow Americans. I've chosen to schedule this impromptu address at night. Because quite frankly every time I address in the afternoon the stock market goes to the crapper. I've come to you tonight amidst a very important election between two very qualified candidates. The Hot Lady and the Tiger Woods guy. And yes I did have three Xanaxes and a silver bullet about half an hour ago. I'm outta here in a few months so screw it! *creepy giggle* Now let's bring out here Governor Sarah Palin and Sentaor McCain.

Fey: It's so nice to meet you, President Bush. I've seen you on TV. But unfortunately Senator McCain upon hearing that you want to make him a super-public endorsement - cannot be found.

Ferrell: George Bush always finds his man save for one huge exception.

Fey: Yep, we're going to get 'er done!

Team Arctic guy brings in McCain (played by Darrell Hammond).

Ferrell: (shakes hands as McCain tries to tug his hand away) Hey let's get a photo of this. Lemme do this. I, George W. Bush, endorse John McCain and Sarah Palin. (McCain tugs to leave, GW doesn't let go.) John was there for me 90% of the time for past ten years. When you think john mccain think of me. Think of this face when you're in the voting, before you vote, picture this face.

Huh?

Can you believe it?

I just called Ather-Shehzad Studio.

Shahzad Raza charges THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND RUPEES for bridal makeup.

And if youwant him to come to Karachi, he will charge you extra ...

PLUS ...

YOU have to give him a Business Class ticket and five star stay.

Shahzad's assistant charges one hundred thousand. You can give him an economy class ticket and stay.

Benevolent.

Mom still thinks I'm joking. Even though I made the call in front of her.

Does this mean we no longer live in the good ol' days where looking beautiful came naturally?

But now it has to come with a private jet and a bank balance?

"Islam and Post Modernism."

By Dr Asghar Ali Engineer

What is the relation between Islam and post-modernism? Earlier, we used to talk of Islam and modernism and now we talk of Islam and post-modernism.

First let us understand the difference between modernism and post-modernism. Modernism which ruled the roost until the early 1950s was characterised by a hegemony of reason. Modernism rejected anything which was not in conformity with reason.

Modernism was, in a way, quite intolerant of forces of tradition or even anything supra-rational, let alone irrational. It was for this reason that Freud’s theory of the subconscious or unconscious was also ridiculed by modernists. It was not deemed to be in conformity with reason. Even Marxists also rejected Freud and his explanation of deeper sources of human behaviour. Naturally they also rejected religion as something irrational. Thus, modernism was as intolerant of anything non-modern as one religion is said to be of another.

Europe throughout the 19th century was characterised by modernism and Asia and Africa were looked down upon by the Europeans as anti-modern and irrational. Thus, the 19th century was the century of modernism and of European hegemony. It was in the early 1950s and ’60s that new trends began to emerge and post-modernism began to be theorised by academics and social scientists.

In post-modernism, reason lost its hegemony and supra-rational forces came to be accepted. Post-modernism is mainly characterised by pluralism, be it cultural, religious or literary sphere. Europe and North America became multi-cultural and multi-religious societies due to the migration of people from the western powers’ former African and Asian colonies.

Also, it was during this phase that religion also found a respectable place again in western society. In other words, religion came to be re-appropriated. Thus, post-modernism, unlike modernism, is not hegemonic and is tolerant of other cultures; its main characteristic is pluralism. Now let us explore the relation between Islam and post-modernism.

Islam believes in religious and cultural pluralism, and while accepting importance of reason it also accepts supra-rational forces. According to the Quran, Allah has created several religions and cultures though he could have created only one, if He so desired. (5:48). Thus, pluralism is the very basic to the Quran.

According to the Quran the world has been created in its plurality, not only in matters of religion but also by way of ethnicity, nations and tribes. These have been described as signs of Allah (30:22). About national and tribal plurality, one only need see Surah 49, verse 13.

The Quran stresses pluralism to such an extent that even when one is convinced that others’ gods are false, it stops believers from abusing them. The Quran says, “And abuse not those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest, exceeding the limits they abuse Allah through ignorance.” Further, it says: “Thus to every people have. We made their deeds fair-seeming…” (6:109)

Here, it is a Quranic injunction not to say bad words about others’ religion(s) because to every people their religion looks true and valid. The Quran even says that in every place of worship Allah is remembered and hence it should be respected. Thus, the Quran says, “And if Allah did not repel some people by others, cloisters and churches and synagogues and mosques in which Allah’s name is much remembered, would have been pulled down.” (22:40).

Thus, there is no place for inter-religious conflict in Islam. The Quran also subscribes to the doctrine of what Shah Waliullah and Maulana Azad called the wahdat-i-Deen i.e., unity of religion, which means all religions are same in essence and in their core teachings. Both the eminent theologians have thrown detailed light on this question in their respective writings.

As far as multi-culturalism is concerned, the West accepted it only in the latter part of the 20th century. The West had otherwise long been a mono-religious and mono-cultural society, because the Christian church had rejected validity of all other religions except Christianity. The church now of course believes in inter-religious dialogue and has issued instructions to Christian organisations to that effect. The Quran had accepted all Biblical prophets during the revelation itself.

Islam accepted multi-culturalism too by saying that all believers are one Ummah regardless of their ethnicity, language, tribe or nationality. It also admonished believers not to discriminate between Arabs and non-Arabs, as Arabs were very proud of their ethnic origin. Islam spread far and wide among peoples of different cultures and even the Shariah respected the ‘adat (customs) of different people. Local customs and traditions were integrated with Shariah formulations from the earliest time.

Thus, it will be seen that Islamic teachings anticipated what came to be called post-modernism today. The most essential thing is tolerance for diversity and for those who are different from us. Being different should not mean being inferior, superior or hostile to the other. We must project Islam in the right spirit, emphasising the practice of tolerance it so ardently advocates to the faithful.

The writer is an Islamic scholar and heads the Centre for Study of Society and Secularism, Mumbai.

Taken from: Dawn.com.

Watan ka Sajeela Jawan.

My brother Ali and his friend Saad reenacting Zardari-Palin encounter.

You can note the thurkeeness in Saad's eyes (on the left) and the slightly terrorized look on Ali's (on the right).

Whose War is it anyway?

WASHINGTON, Oct 05, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- A prominent national Islamic civil rights and advocacy group announced today that Howard Gordon, the executive producer of Fox's drama "24," has withdrawn his endorsement of the anti-Muslim film "Obsession" currently being distributed to some 28 million households in presidential election swing states by a shadowy non-profit organization called the Clarion Fund.

Source: Marketwatch.

The film and the words "anti-Muslim" are strongly tied. It makes me wonder if there's a Holocaust round the corner. I am back in the year 2001 right now where I would hear horror stories of Muslim kindergarten children being pelted at with bananas and Cheetos for wearing tiny headscarves.

The history of Muslims is conflicted, I'll give you that. But I don't altogether believe that we deserve as much hate as we are recently acquiring. Just like the war on terror isn't exactly a war on terror, I wonder if people are able to see that the "Jihad" in Jamiya Hafsa or the suicide-bombings from 9/11 to 7/11 to 9/20, isn't exactly like the Jihad the Prophet of Islam waged 1400 years ago. I wonder if there will be any room for an explanation for what a fundamentalist is in the next few years. And I sincerely wonder if the average Pakistani man will ever stop calling himself a 'radical muslim' just because he has a beard or prays at the mosque. I've never heard of the phrases 'radical Christian' or 'fundamentalist Jew'. Is it some South Asian dilemma? Radical Hindus and radical Muslims?

While we're at the topic, another problem with the Pakistani nation that is rampant and quite the trend in the holier-than-thou society: rejecting modernity. Refusing modern culture or the adaptation to technology. The more of a Luddite, the better a Muslim. The more of an idiot a woman is - all the better to be a wife. Because wives of present-day "good" Muslims, unlike the Umhaat ul Momineen, aren't supposed to be literate enough (Hazrat Ayesha RA) to have the ability to quote 5000 ahadeeth or advise on war matters or educate a nation, no. Neither should they be of enough power to assume a choice to divorce her husband (Hazrat Zainab bint e Jahsh RA) nor should she have enough gumption to be strong for a husband when he needs her the most (Hazrat Khadeeja RA). No. Our women's piety and chastity is justified by just how tightly our burqas are clad, just how quietly we can take a husband's beating and exactly by how many slaps and insults and acid-sprinkles we can withhold from our in-laws. Our society isn't an Islamic one - neither are our people, and I'd really wish the global media would desist the stupidity of calling us the 'followers of Quran' who wish 'death upon America'. If anyone's terribly un-Islamic, it's us. We are not waging Jihad in any way. We are waging a war of political interests, of international conflict, using and abusing Islam wherever we deem necessary, whenever we can throw in a quotation about God willing to fight the 'non-Muslims', to obliterate the 'enemy', forgetting it was the Prophet Muhammad SAW who announced sanctuary to the people of Mecca, the women and children, and anyone who took refuge in Abu Sufyan's house. And bonus points for guessing whose side Abu Sufyan was on.

They can all us great terrorists if they want to, but they should drop the Muslim alibi (which I know they won't, the war on terror hasn't shifted to OIL either - Operation Iraqi Liberation) which is just a bad excuse for a badly played hand by Al Qaeda. It's a shame that not even a few people in the Muslim world have had much luck explaining this to the west. Movies such as Obsession and Danish cartoons and 'anti-Muslim' sentiment will continue to thrive and multiply. We're seriously not interested in an image revamp.

--

Pakistan and Pakistanis Muslims, to the world, are torch-bearing, Kafir-killing, flag-burnig, suicide-bombing fanatics who beat and kill their wives, spit on modern medicine and probably eat their young daughters. And then there's that other end of the spectrum. Where we're belly-dancer oglers, suppressed, bearded, dark-eyed heretics who worship the Satan as badly as the other-enders worship Allah.

There are definite moments where I am not proud to be a part of this race - this Pakistani Muslim category which has proudly marshalled its militant image. Mainly because of the lay man who sported bin Laden's picture on the back of water tankers and pan shops. My greatest fear for my country and my people is that we are not even aware - not even remotely cognizant - of the threat we have come to face because of our incessant stupidities. We have supported Talibanization whenever the West has wanted us to without dictating a clear democratic or diplomatic stance. Instead of proclaiming a support for the US we have camouflaged our US-love as Ummah-love and in the end, eat our own vociferous speeches. There is no harm in accepting that we are quietly supporting a US-led war on terror in Afghanistan (which we are, are we not?) and quietly letting them dictate a future with India and now with Iran because our own infrastructure is weak and frail. It cannot withstand an enmity with the biggest dog in the yard.

I don't believe that America is the greatest nation to grace the planet but I do believe that it is indeed a powerful nation - and for good reason. I believe that Americans have survived great odds like war, famine, economic depressions, nuclear threats, the handling of a federation of 50-odd states, a combative bi-polar world of the 1960s - to overcome and emerge as one of the most powerful nations of the world. They have worked hard and they've gotten what they invested in. They aren't perfect but they've done whatever they possibly could in their powers. Which is something Pakistanis just do not understand. We are too busy fighting over petty issues, thrashing each other apart whether it is judicial killings or judicial positions. For us, all we need is a spark. We'll add the feul to the fire ourselves.

Muslims, along with the rest of the world, need to understand the clear difference between a Mullah and a Muslim. They need to understand the difference between sexist and gender-based; between jihad and political tactic; between diplomacy and consistency; between resentment and tolerance.

This entire hoopla on suicide bombs is only going to prove Marx right once and for all that religion is what masses get high on - how leaders can sway the devotion of people in their favor. Chant Allah hu Akbar and ram the fourteen year old into the mosque with explosives. Cite a certain text (albeit misinterpreted) and thrash your wife into a pulp. Give a misquoted example and wage a war against innocent American civilians.

Marx will also be right when we'll land as an American army on Iraqi/Afghani soil. Look at certain profits and send your troops in to wage a 'crusade'. Sign certain oil proliferation treaties and declare weapons of mass destructions all over any country you like. Find a potential threat and fool the prolateriat by any means necessary - economic downfall, a threat of terror or a politics of fear. The idea is to raise capital. And raise it must.

This is nowhere a holy struggle. The present state of affairs is in no way a prediction or order from the Quran or from the American constitution. It is a malady produced by the personal choices and greeds for more, an exploitation of the powerless masses, the ridiculed and the befuddled. We keep making movies like The Obsession, we keep chanting slogans against the Muslims or the Americans and we keep feeding to this black hole of vested interests.

This is not a war on terror, this is not a Jihad.

This is humanity at its best.

Power hungry and stupid.

Tina Fey is my hero.

Like millions, I've been a fan of SNL for a very long time. But this is something that makes me just accept it out loud.

Tina Fey is my hero.

Who are we to judge the Pakistani Psycho.

Sometimes I wonder if we're way too influenced by the media and it's galore. It's need for drama and it's persistent doomsday conspiracy theories. Are we so absorbed by this hyperreality that we have forgotten what it was to have an objective opinion?

Right now, it's certainly a dilemma for me as I browse through the statements of President Extraordinaire, Mr. Asif Ali Zardari.

"I mean business," he says, says he to Roger Cohen. He says he is changing things, replacing ISI bigshots, hugging Manmohan Singh, creating 'Friends for Pakistan', establishing a hardline on the US attacks and lashing out at them directly and simply at the UN meet. So what if he also flirted with the US VP. Pretty much all of America is calling her sexy. Why aren't we just glad he didn't use those words too while he was grinning there like Moose in front of Midge?


Whatever the case may be with his big grin and oily hair, I want to give him credit for saying what he did.

"Unilateral actions of great powers should not inflame the passion of allies."

You have to hand it to the guy. After the day you flirt with the US VP, stand next to Condi Rice and say that the world is a safer place because of President Bush, to go out and say you won't tolerate any more crap coming from the NATO helicopters on Paki soil - I'm impressed.

Cohen states what he feels about this as such:

"My impression? This guy's very smart, a wheeler-dealer in an area full of them, secular, pro-American, committed to democracy, determined and brave. I never heard Musharraf frame Pakistan's fight against terrorism with such candor."

For an analysis of Asif Ali Zardari, it is more critical who he 'befriends' internationally than who he sleeps with confidentially. It is probably more of a joke that he swooned over Palin if he continues to keep his head in his place in places like the UN meets and at 10 Downing Street.

The guy's a sleazebag, sure. He's probably not even a seasoned democrat. But he's got what it takes to take the seat. He did what it took him to elbow out a far more seasoned democrat than he was (hint, hint, he's far from the running now), capture the loyalties of JUI in one day, pocket the England-executed party of Pakistan and successfully stand in front of the international community, humbly asking for help.

How he's doing it is beyond me. What I do understand is that he's latched on good and strong. And when it comes to Pakistani democratic olympics - that's what makes you a winner.

I cannot understand testosterone.

I have been forced to confess it herewith.

I do not get it. Maybe men have same issues with oestrogen and progesterone, but come on. Progesterone isn't half the confusion as testosterone is.

Testosterone is so incredibly funny, it'll make nice, decent, intelligent people like my own darling brother, Ali, scream uncontrollably at a guy who merely cut in front of him at the CNG station a couple of days ago.

Don't believe me?

Alright, I'll elucidate.

While waiting for the ATM machine to work and observing the milling-arounders, one does get to notice interesting (and sometimes just plain gross) tidbits. For example.


Notice how the dashing old man stands.

Where the bloody hell does he think he's standing? His washroom, waiting for his kids to finish toothbrushing?

On roads where women walk like this, all covered and sour-faced ... :



Men actually have the nerve to stand around their hands up their waists through their kurtas. Like so. Notice it's not one but two intelligent species standing that way.




That's just too disgusting.

But no wait. Where there's disgusting, there's Zardari. And no one can refute he's not a good reason to be baffled at testosterone. Everyone's heard of his fawning over Sarah Palin. If I'm over the fact that we're slobbering as slavish puppies at the hands of the American government, I'm made to see him making sleazy innuendos at a remotely attractive female.

Your wife's been dead not a year and you're already grinning like a chipmunk.

I guess I should've taken the hint when you took over the party and ran for President, but you had to prove it to me, sir, eh?


And although I hate to use anything human in the same line as Zardari, I have to make an exception.

Then there are freaks who will insist on flirting with you despite your obvious display of the ring-finger. The freaks who think anything moving and female is worthy of their slimy attention. The freaks with their mad stares and creepy smile. Their bad teeth and slick (in their opinion, anyway) hairdos - do you actually think you're attractive if I see your knickers hanging out your pants? We're not blind, please. Or devoid of other senses either.

I'm sure the grievances are equal on the other side, the battle of the sexes will reign, never the twain shall meet, opposites will continue to attract, and so on and so forth ...

... but if it ever comes down to choices, I'd always choose oestrogen.

It's crazy, moody and maybe even bitchy at times.

But it won't flirt at every moving object in sight.

There's no place like home?

After watching the pictures of the blast, after reading the political statements by the President, Prime Minister, the Interior Minister, the police officers, the survivors, the public, the youth, the media and the press ... I am left with nothing but fear. These threats are not being faced. I am taken back to January, this year, when there were over 15 blasts in one month all across Pakistan. These people are not waking up to smell what is going on. These politicians, the military, the international community does not understand that Pakistan is under a threat far too grave to be ignored anymore. We don't need, atop this, military raids from the US. We don't need stupid politicians to have petty issues. We don't need the media to show charred flesh everywhere. We don't need the blame game within the masses.

What we need is to take this threat very, very, VERY seriously. We need effective strategies, asap, to get rid of the Al-Qaeda threat, the Islamic militants who are not interested in anything Islamic (such as peace or dialog) whatsoever, to get rid of a horrific rampage that plagues the people everyday: fear and insecurity.

It's strange, though.

Just when you thought Zardari was the worst thing to happen to the country, something like this happens.

I don't think I'm out of the shock of the realization of what has happened to this country.

No.

I don't think I am indeed.

I want my spaceship.

From Dawn.com

I want to follow suit of that big ship that deserted earth because it had become unlivable. It was home and it was unlivable. Tell me if that isn't torture enough and I'll tell you to inform me of what is not painfully obsolete.

The reasons are simple.

US is this close to a full-fledged war-on-terror in Pakistan. One wrong move and we're really looking at another 6 years of US's pathetic excuse for "counter-terrorism". Indeed. Millions of dollars, thousands of dead soldiers and women and children later, the US appetite of saving mankind from itself is still not satiated. How many more, I ask you? How many more to fill this oil-black-hole?

Another couple of billion dollars spent on atomic experiments. How about feeding people with all that money for a change? Help a kid get his eyesight back? Educate a couple of hundred beggars? Give blood transfusions to teenagers who might end up saving families in the future, if they can just have a better chance at life?

12 killed in Taraveeh prayers. Taraveeh prayers. Including children. Who are these human beings and what has gotten into them? But there. I cannot allow myself to ask these questions just as yet. Not when I have the following fascinating factoids outlined.

A teacher throws acid on a student's face. Acid. Saas and bahu suna tha. Teachers and students? And if that isn't bad enough for you to start saving for your ticket outta Planet Doom, hear this. Son kills 60-year-old mother declaring her kari. Kari. Your sixty year old mother.

But women deserve no sympathy. I'm almost mysogynistic after hearing about Ms. Gulzaran aka Bilo who claimed that the boy with the fractured hand that the police recovered was her son. The boy, Dilawar, 8, reports that he is not her son. He was kidnapped from Karachi and Ms. Gulzaran broke his hand with a hammer and forced him to beg. A hammer. An eight year old kid and a hammer to break his hand for petty cash.

And we are busy playing dosti-kut'ti, dosti-kut'ti. We're too busy fighting petty politics when we really ... and I mean REALLY ... need politicians who are as selfish about the nation as the US is about its foreign policy. We need the media to act responsibly and stop berating Pakistan for things we already know and get a move on already. If they can't do anything positive except to shake fingers and talk crap about problems we already know are there, then they should just shut their pieholes. If politicians can't just stop bickering then they don't deserve to be Presidents. If people like us can't take initiatives to do something about the environment, about the social dilapidation that is spreading like wildfire, we need to take a good look in that mirror and ask ourselves (f*** the fear of cliches) if this is the world we want our kids to live in twenty years from now.

I don't know how we do it and I don't care where we start. Let's just embark on this journey already before things get any worse than they already are. I'm in no illusion of removing world poverty but if I give in to disaster, that's probably just as stupid. 

Do what you can. Plant a tree, feed a child, write a blog, report a crime, speak the truth, teach the alphabet, keep the faith, love the land. 

The point is ... do ... because if this isn't heydey ... I don't know what the freaking hell is.

Points to Ponder.

In a recent article, writes Andleeb Abbas (a consultant and CEO of FranklinCovey) that no country in the world exemplifies peace, prosperity and progress.

Pasting the whole article again seems like a simple enough regurgitation so let me just talk about the finer points:

1. Concepts like globalisation which were supposed to make the world a better place have themselves become disputable.
2. As the superpowers struggle in wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, smaller nations like Pakistan and Zimbabwe struggle to shrug off dictatorships and corrupt politicians which have made them vulnerable to every form of socio-economic attack on their sovereignty and identity.
3. Stronger nations, in pursuit of their philosophy of ‘we can only become stronger if the others become weaker’ have forgotten how to become stronger themselves.
4. The political cost: Politics in the West is limited to being either pro- or anti-war. Americans and the British are choosing their leaders on this basis alone. Politics in lesser countries like Pakistan is also decided on the basis of whether the leadership is supporting the war in Afghanistan.
5. The economic cost: Recession is the inevitable result of bad politics and indifferent economic management. Stock prices are tumbling, the credit crunch is expanding and consumer spending is at its lowest. Companies have only one survival strategy i.e. tightening their belt. This of course means downsizing and cost-cutting which have worsened unemployment. Inflation is at an all-time high and food prices are unaffordable. Economies like Pakistan have gone into a freefall. Exports are down, the rupee is the most worthless currency possible raising the import bill to a level which cannot be paid thereby leading to further debts and deficits of all kinds.
6. The social cost: The pressure to live, and live up to, is so huge in today’s society that the ability to live for real values and principles has given way to adherence to social norms which result in artificial lives with no substance or character.
7. American society has gone into its worst period of racism and materialism; family units in the UK are almost an alien concept as the country has the highest number of teenage pregnancies where the mother being a child herself is incapable of rearing children. In Pakistan we have a society where extremism in both modernism and fascism has undermined its balance as a place with a reasonable ideology and identity. The youth of this country vacillate between two ends: some are partly copies of their western counterparts, the others of the Taliban, thus causing social confusion and emotional devastation.
8. The attitude of each one of us should be that we should not have to wait for the world to change but initiate the change at our own level, no matter how small it is, because as they say “what lies behind us, and ahead of us, is insignificant compared to what lies within us".

andleeb@franklincoveysouthasia.com

The Poor Little Rich President.

I am completely and thoroughly tired of hearing "Dila Teer Bijaan Allay" everywhere I go. What are these people celebrating? The advent of another plutocratic President who by the way happens to be the second-richest man in the country?


Are these people seriously deluded or what?


Everywhere I go I hear the intelligent factions of society condemning the arrival of the man with the thicker moustache and yet here he is with all the fanfare and glory ready to rock Pakistan into a potentially explosive future (literally, now that I read about the US attacks). I can only ask the people of Pakistan, beg them, beseech them, pray for them, to open their eyes.


Open your eyes. This is a country where peopel are dying for food and health. And these are the assets of your President:

1. Plot no. 121, Phase VIII, DHA Karachi.

2. Agricultural land situated in Deh Dali Wadi, Taluka, Tando Allah Yar.

3. Agricultural property located in Deh Tahooki Taluka, District Hyderabad measuring 65.15 acres.

4. Agricultural land falling in Deh 76-Nusrat, Taluka, District Nawabshah measuring 827.14 acres

5. Agricultural land situated in Deh 76-Nusrat, Taluka, District Nawabshah measuring 293.18 acres

6. Residential plot No 3 (Now House) Block No B-I, City Survey No 2268 Ward-A Nawabshah

7. Huma Heights (Asif Apartments) 133, Depot Lines, Commissariat Road, Karachi

8. Trade Tower Building 3/CL/V Abdullah Haroon Road, Karachi

9. House No 8, St 9, F-8/2, Islamabad

10. Agricultural land in Deh 42 Dad Taluka/ District Nawabshah

11. Agricultural land in Deh 51 Dad Taluka Distt Nawabshah

12. Plot No 3 & 4 Sikni (residential) Near Housing Society Ltd. Nawabshah

13. CafT Sheraz (C.S No.. 2231/2 & 2231/3) Nawabshah

14. Agricultural land in Deh 23-Deh Taluka & District Nawabshah

15. Agricultural property in Deh 72-A, Nusrat Taluka, Nawabshah

16. Agricultural land in Deh 76-Nusrat Taluka, Nawabshah

17. Plot No. A/136 Survey No 2346 Ward A Government Employee’s Cooperative Housing Society Ltd, Nawabshah

18. Agricultural land in Deh Jaryoon Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad

19. Agricultural land in Deh Aroro Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad

20. Agricultural land in Deh Nondani Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad

21. Agricultural land in Deh Lotko Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad

22. Agricultural land in Deh Jhol Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad

23. Agricultural land in Deh Kandari Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad

24. Agricultural land in Deh Deghi Taluka Tando Mohammad Khan

25. Agricultural land in Deh Rahooki Taluka, Hyderabad

26. Property in Deh Charo Taluka, Badin

27. Agricultural property in Deh Dali Wadi Taluka, Hyderabad

28. Five acres prime land allotted by DG KDA in 1995/96

29. 4,000 kanals on Simli Dam

30. 80 acres of land at Hawkes Bay

31. 13 acres of land at Maj Gulradi (KPT Land)

32. One acre plot, GCI, Clifton

33. One acre of land, State Life (International Center, Sadar)

34. FEBCs worth Rs. 4 million

SHARES IN SUGAR MILLS INCLUDE:

1. Sakrand Sugar Mills Nawabshah

2. Ansari Sugar

3. Mills Hyderabad

4. Mirza Sugar Mills Badin

5. Pangrio Sugar Mills Thatta

6. Bachani Sugar Mills Sanghar

FRONT COMPANIES IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES:

1. Bomer Fiannce Inc, British Virgin Islands

2. Mariston Securities Inc, British Virgin Islands

3. Marleton Business S A, British Virgin Islands

4. Capricorn Trading S A, British Virgin Islands

5. Fagarita Consulting INc, British Virgin Islands

6. Marvil Associated Inc, British Virgin Islands

7. Pawnbury Finance Ltd, British Virgin Islands

8. Oxton Trading Limited, British Virgin Islands

9. Brinslen Invest S A, British Virgin Islands

10. Chimitex Holding S A, British Virgin Islands

11. Elkins Holding S A, British Virgin Islands

12. Minister Invest Ltd, British Virgin Islands

13. Silvernut Investment Inc, British Virgin Islands

14. Tacolen Investment Ltd, British Virgin Islands

15. Marlcrdon Invest S A, British Virgin Islands

16. Dustan Trading Inc, British Virgin Islands

17. Reconstruction and Development Finance Inc, British Virgin Islands

18. Nassam Alexander Inc.

19. Westminster Securities Inc.

20. Laptworth Investment Inc 202, Saint Martin Drive, West Jacksonville

21. Intra Foods Inc. 3376, Lomrel Grove, Jacksonville, Florida

22. Dynatel Trading Co, Florida

23. A..S Realty Inc. Palm Beach Gardens Florida

24. Bon Voyage Travel Consultancy Inc, Florida

ZARDARI’S PROPERTIES IN UK ARE:

1. 355 acre Rockwood Estate, Surrey (Now stands admitted)

2. Flat 6, 11 Queensgate Terrace, London SW7

3. 26 Palace Mansions, Hammersmith Road, London W14

4. 27 Pont Street, London, SW1

5. 20 Wilton Crescent, London SW1

6. 23 Lord Chancellor Walk, Coombe Hill, Kingston, Surrey

7. The Mansion, Warren Lane, West Hampstead, London

8. A flat at Queensgate Terrace, London

9. Houses at Hammersmith Road, Wilton Crescent, Kingston and in Hampstead.

ZARDARI’S PROPERTIES IN BELGIUM ARE:

1. 12-3 Boulevard De-Nieuport, 1000, Brussels, (Building containing 4 shops and 2 large apartments)

2. Chausee De-Mons, 1670, Brussels

ZARDARI’S PROPERTIES IN FRANCE ARE:

1. La Manoir De La Reine Blanche and property in Cannes

ZARDARI’S PROPERTIES IN USA — in the name of Asif Zardari and managed by Shimmy Qureshi are:

1. Stud farm in Texas

2. Wellington Club East, West Palm Beach

3. 12165 West Forest Hills, Florida

4. Escue Farm 13,524 India Mound, West Palm Beach

5. 3,220 Santa Barbara Drive, Wellington Florida

6. 13,254 Polo Club Road, West Palm Beach Florida

7. 3,000 North Ocean Drive, Singer Islands, Florida

8. 525 South Flager Driver, West Palm Beach, Florida

9. Holiday Inn Houston Owned by Asif Ali Zardari, Iqbal Memon and Sadar-ud-Din Hashwani

ZARDARI’S BANK ACCOUNTS IN FOREGN COMPANIES ARE:

1. Union Bank of Switzerland (Account No. 552.343, 257.556.60Q, 433.142.60V, 216.393.60T)

2. Citibank Private Limited (SWZ) (Account No. 342034)

3. Citibank N A Dubai (Account No. 818097)

4. Barclays Bank (Suisse) (Account No. 62290209)

5. Barclays Bank (Suisse) (Account No. 62274400)

6. Banque Centrade Ormard Burrus S A

7. Banque Pache S A

8. Banque Pictet & Cie

9. Banque La Henin, Paris (Account No. 00101953552)

10. Bank Natinede Paris in Geneva (Account NO.. 563.726.9)

11. Swiss Bank Corporation

12. Chase Manhattan Bank Switzerland

13. American Express Bank Switzerland

14. Societe De Banque Swissee

15. Barclays Bank (Knightsbridge Branch) (Account No. 90991473)

16. Barclays Bank, Kingston and Chelsea Branch, (Sort Code 20-47-34135)

17. National Westminster Bank, Alwych Branch (Account No. 9683230)

18. Habib Bank (Pall Mall Branch).

19. National Westminster Bank, Barking Branch, (Account No. 28558999).

20. Habib Bank AG, Moorgate, London EC2

21. National Westminster Bank, Edgware Road, London

22. Banque Financiei E Dela Citee, Credit Suisse

23. Habib Bank AG Zurich, Switzerland

24. Pictet Et Cie, Geneva

25. Credit Agricole, Paris

26. Credit Agridolf, Branch 11, Place Brevier, 76440, Forges Les Faux

27. Credit Agricole, Branch Haute – Normandie, 76230, Boise Chillaum